You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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