Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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