She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
