I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
