Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
either way he was missing a nipple.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
