well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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