I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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