jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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