this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
