I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think my moral compass just broke
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