Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
