i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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