is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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