There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
