ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
