dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
