i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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