She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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