I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
