I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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