all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
