Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
