It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
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I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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