there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
