i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Randomize
