Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
