I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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