Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
