oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize