I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
