Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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