Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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