I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
