I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
