if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
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She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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