Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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