i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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