when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
