We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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