so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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