I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
