do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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