He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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