It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
