The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
