the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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