i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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