I can't watch pbs sober anymore
where am i from again
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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