what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
