No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
