im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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