Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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