So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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