Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
