I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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