Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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