Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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