Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize