She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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