I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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