pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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