I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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