And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
