the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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