Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
