She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
